What an unbelievable thing! Consisting of a canteen, cup, and a two-piece mess tin, this system sounds a lot better than it actually is. Good stuff for a good price if you are not in a hurry, or if evil militaria is your thing.

As usual with various pieces of military kit, the designer had good intentions but no field experience at all. Taking the pieces apart is as difficult and painful as was dividing the country itself. It's a bit like the Russian nesting grandmother dolls: you remove one layer only to find another one inside.

While these units are Serbian surplus, this canteen system was originally adopted by the Yugoslavian army. Our guess is that these continued to be issued by the Serbs because they are so frustrating and enraging to use; after a quick drinking pause, soldiers would be eager to commit atrocities proactively.

Complexity of the components

First, you must fish the whole thing from the carrying pouch with belt loops. The fabric is thin and flimsy as it is, putting the kit back requires care and patience.

Then you separate the top and bottom of the 2-piece mess kit. In some cases, these are extremely hard to open. When you finally manage to do it, you can attach the plastic bowl to the handle of the metal bowl, which is almost convenient.

Inside the mess kit is the canteen, a cubic thing holding about a liter (1 qt) or a little less. There is an inscription on the thing which we can't read and won't be bothered to study. We think it is a warning against putting water into the canteen. Based on the movie Alien, we know that all kinds of messages you don't understand are probably warnings.

The top of the canteen features a small cup which might seem useless, but it is originally meant to hold eyeballs. It also has warnings not to put water in it or something.

At some point, you'll notice the source of the rattle you dismissed before: it's the utensils. We've been told the spoon was for gouging out the eyes of innocent civilians.

Serbian army surplus

Truth be told, these are a god-awful choice if you want a simple canteen from which to drink while on the move. As a camping dishware set, these aren't bad for the price but you will want to loosen the handle a little bit. The metal part of the mess kit can be used for cooking.

These items may have been used in a genocide, so looking at the dings and scratches can get your historimagination running into very dark places. You have been warned.