Swedish Army Monster Fork, Ginormous, Surplus

Härreguud, what a wicked weapon. If you haven’t found a manly enough sausage grilling stick, here it is! You can skewer a buffalo ham to this, and if you aren’t into the carnivore diet, grill a whole pumpkin This is also fit for hunting crocodiles, and works as a crappy fire iron, mountain troll cocktail fork, or a boar spear.  Made from alunominomnomium

Use

This is such a frightful thing that it requires an open carry permit from Odin. These were sold to us as Swedish army cooking forks, so our minds exploded a bit when the shipment came, because the size is humongous. Frankly, we have no idea what they used to do with these. When you spear a hunk of beef with this, it will stay still while you carve it. However, the wound channel is large enough to fell a cape buffalo, so your Sunday roast might get very well ventilated.

Either Sweden had also bigger and better roasts than anybody else, or these were used for something completely different. What would a sensible person do with such a thing, you might wonder. Probably absolutely nothing. However, a creative person like you will probably come up with tons of brilliant ideas:

• Modern minesweeper for the Russian army
• Gift for a friend who has everything sensible and boring
• Most memorable murder weapon in the next horror flick hit
• Acupuncture needle for the numb buttocks of your pet mammoth
• Cannibal chef accessory for the Halloween costume of the year 

Condition

Swedish military surplus. These are forkin’ old but still in very nice condition. They will serve you well wherever you use ‘em. And the price isn’t bad.