{"product_id":"varusteleka-eau-de-surplus","title":"Varusteleka Eau de Surplus","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMake your shiny new clothes and gear look and smell like military surplus with this amazing formula. Why settle for 'new' when you can embrace the spirit of geopolitical collapse? This isn't just a scent. It is the aromatic soul of a Cold War bunker. One spray, and you don't just enter the room. You occupy it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEffective dejuvenating treatment\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWorks on clothes, packs, tents, tarps, chest rigs, pouches, etc.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAlso an effective reodorant when diluted\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eStains, perforates, adds suspicious specks, and gives the authentic aroma\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEasy to use\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNon-reversible - it is now what it is\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli dir=\"ltr\" role=\"presentation\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDeemed non-toxic in all Warsaw Pact countries\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Scent: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA top note of damp concrete, a heart of motor oil, and a lingering base note of 'something died in the ventilation shaft.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Aesthetic: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy wash your gear when you can break the chains of conformity altogether? Our patented formula creates authentic, suspicious stains and scientifically accurate mold specks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Social Benefit: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCommanding respect. Commanding fear. Commanding at least three empty seats around you on the subway. Lebensraum. Finally.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe story\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGood old military surplus is very difficult to source these days, yet it is highly sought after. Every day, somebody asks us to bring back the good ol’ times when our warehouse smelled like something had died there. Unfortunately, those days are gone, and most Cold War bunkers have been raided empty. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBut worry not, because we have invented something that will bring a whiff of those glory days back! This miracle mixture provides a surface treatment for all new clothes and gear that have fabric. When diluted, it will also work on yourself. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEasy to Use\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSimply coat your garment or other fabric with this, and let it do its magic. It will leave uneven stains, flaky mold specks, and gnaw small holes, scientifically mimicking the surface of decades-old military surplus. Stains and holes last forever, but the scent fades in a few months. Renew the treatment, and you’ll smell like a lovely moldy roadkill again in no time.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIf you want to have an aura of a true surplus aficionado, you need to go one step further. By diluting Eu de Surplus with distilled scrotium, it turns into a powerful reodorant. Everyone around you will know your true nature instantaneously. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Varusteleka","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53349512347987,"sku":"91736","price":196.0,"currency_code":"SEK","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0962\/1952\/9555\/files\/april-fools-2026-surplus-fragrance-productimage.jpg?v=1774961821","url":"https:\/\/varusteleka.com\/en-se\/products\/varusteleka-eau-de-surplus","provider":"Varusteleka","version":"1.0","type":"link"}